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On Top Of The World - Boys Like Girls /

Look up, the stars are fading
And I am still here waiting
To see you again
Be with you my friend

havent blogged for awhile i guess..

threedaysago.had horrible npcc training.ran here ran there.consequence?i couldnt move the next day.
but i forced myself anyway.go berdine bbq..slack.
alot of pple nia.no more food lorhs.jude&eric brought darn lotta pple.then barn&eric were dancing on the grass there.me...keep catching aeroplanes...86...on my way=)
yepp.then we all went to gaze at the sea somehow.lols.aloy carry the boombox on his shoulders walk arnd.like so not extra.lols.but it was alright i guess.still my good sista=) then was listening to jj's mp3..he was like,in the same situation as me last time..yepps.see him damn sad.summore listening the mp3 songs..all the songs like,darn "happy" liddat hahas.wahh this kind of mood listen..will jump into the sea derhs.summore i just found out some freaking truth that night.couldnt take it.and i really cried that night.heng it was dark-no one saw.except jj.yarhs.he could sense it..
but really lah.if you like,miss someone so much,and you hear cascada coming on.

"i still hear your voice when you sleep next to me;
i still feel your touch in my dreams.
forgive me,
my weakness,
but i dont know why.
without you its hard to survive.."

sia la~

yeahs then we were walking along the park...sending ahbarn home.
he had to be back by 11.o5pm.then our phones were all showing times AFTER 11.o5pm.except for guanli hahas.his was 11.o2pm~~then barn take that time-"ehh THREE more minutes nia haha."
then we headed off to downtown-me aloy guanli minghui jj zihao.
met jude again..
then we went to aloy auntie hse again.
now i understand the true true meaning of
"tok cock sing song play mahjong."

wahahas.seriously.plus alotta stuff.
we were slacking in the room.playing com.dyeing our hair.eating.then go downstairs play blind mice..sian.me tired until siao le lorhs.then STILLL play block catching.wahhhh.gth nia hahah.dawn break then can sleep.whaiyos.not really sia.sun already up le lor.7.30?then wake at 9...climb out of the window.coz no key to open door.lols.then run go meet chuanjie and my grandma..go bugis.yepp.

went out for debate this morning..couldnt move.gosh.not again.stressed out body.owells.part of UG.
yeahs.this new instructor..mark!yepp.former anglican..short..nice.ya.then did some stuff..at his gigantic nice nice house~~really.then went sempang makan...after that sheena me inggrid terry take taxi go my hse first.me show off terrys ipod nano to my dad mahhs.yepp.then i really wanna get my mini FAST.
just cant stop thinking of it.affecting myself man.
yepp then we went to century.buy stuff,play arcade & stuff.ddr my world-
can forget faster.
wanna buy machine put at my hse nias.plus pp machine.yays.
then did something really bad yarhs.i dont know why too.i was crazy.ya.
went over to tm~met 6B pple...kewei oso..yarhs.then watched A12 play para..so cute yarh?then we go take neoprints~
spent alot of money..alotalot nias.

i dont feel good at all.
in fact im feeling lousy.

after so many things..yeahs.surely im relieved and yeah im thanking God for answering my prayers.

but..still.

im worried about jonathan,whos currently still angry at me for i-dunno-what-reason,
marcus,him being sad these few days,
alvin,whether hes alright with his gf and all...and his o lvls as well..
hanz mummy,whether shes still crying.

just hope i can keep myself occupied this holiday...im doing lots and lotsa assesment already...im going crazy just doing them.nowadays its just

wake.
do assessment.
sleep.

no eating sias.no appetite.just glancing around at times..just wondering.
what'll be in store this Christmas.

2oo5's been a sucky sucky year for me.nothing good has come by.
ive changed.
people've changed.
things've changed.

everythings different now.

its no longer the life i used to live.
its no longer ANYTHING i used to love.

just let me relive those times this XmasEve.
really would want to go back to the Esplanade.
only this time im alone;

for all you know,i coulda been the one to request for this.they would oblige.yarh?
i could always start to hate you and ask them to go find you.

but why didnt i.
why.

thankyou chris,aloy,sande,jiaxin,marcus...for not doing anything to him...it was worth my tears.

so ive been watching too much anime recently.
naruto and saiyuki's getting to my head.
im falling in love with sanzo and uchiha sasuke,in addition to cho hakkai and uchiha itachi already.
and its damn serious man.
sighs.
then i had this pic of sasuke and sakura-okay a LOT.
they were so sweet...
i cant believe i cried over these few pictures.and i mean CRIED.
but i really really envied them so much...
i mean,
all those they've been through in those 15o+ episodes..
its really touching.
and to see those pictures makes me real sad.sigh-theres one of them sitting by the window just gazing at each other...
its on my desktop.its...

its beautiful.

i dont wanna love you.
but i cant stop it.
think i'll take away everything in friendster.
dont want you to know.
they're angry.
at you.
at me.



ohGOSH.i was just thinking of calling eric this morning and he just called.lols.

whoas.man im good at changing subjects~~



should i be sorry to love you;loving you is a crime.
tonights lesson-"i dont love him."repeat 1oo times a day.

w0raiiniie.
w0rhenaiinie.

i mean,of all people...why choose the both of us to be stuck in this; why did i fall for you..
everyone couldnt believe it when we got together-
"WHAT?the famous kor&mei of WSPS?"
yeahs.
the teachers too-
i'll always remember the time we went back to WSPS together
standing outside the staffroom
holding hands
waiting for ms lee & mrs peh to come out
"weiweiwei dont hold hands in front of me arh.i piak you ar."
mrs peh said that~
we just laughed and i held on even tighter-
ms lee went,
"whey next time bring your children to see me hor.i wait here at WSPS for you"
and you gazed into my eyes and smiled.
i wont forget that moment of bliss we shared;
you asked if my parents would mind you;
i said who cares-
and i asked you "how about yours"
and you said "sure why not"
so many little things
mean so much to me.
especially that day at berdine house
when i found out you got in 21tiong
i cried on the swing
while you didnt know what to do so you just sat there listening to music-
i felt so hurt
but i still called you to come over
and i told you,

"whatever you do from now on,
as long as you want it,
and you can face the both of us,
i'll always support you-
always."

that hug really got me crying.

didnt do anything today..yepp.study yeah.guai me.

went to wait for erzi to come out of school...then we sat at the void deck and listened to his mp3.his singing's really not bad=) yeahs.he should further in that direction.but then again his voice hasnt broken.hmm~

suddenly after the thing ytd at 2o8 i feel weird..
keep thinking of him..
cant help it.
then ahpeh's patching with berdine~feel really happy for the both of them=)
and yet i feel REALLY sad.
for myself perhaps?
awws.

im REALLY REALLY thankful to everyone whos been telling me to cheer up and stuff...yeahs.really.im very very grateful~

fake smiles;

woke damn early in the morning-was out by 5.55am.

walked alone in the mist & fog...
to get the taxi to the mrt station.
met daryl and leonard and ehh i dunno there.
then went to airport with wenhao and labi.

go meet sande jiaxin junjie joel shihan bona yongchun jianhua marcus zihao and pokai...
went for a last meal together at T1 burger king~we were forcing pokai to eat our stuff hahas.

yeahs.so we couldnt let him go until the last minute~
jonathan didnt come-omigosh lahs.
jon...you're pokai's bestest bestest brother...and you couldnt make it..coz of your dad...sighs~

yarhs.we sent him inside at 7.50am. flight at 8.10am.board by 8.o0am.
then sande and jiaxin broke down first...
then my turn.
we cry until damn bad..

then there was a long long line ahead of pokai..then he line until 8.o0am liaos.then we shocked.our fault he late...
then check here check there...flight delayed...
8.15 we saw him running...

was hoping so much that he'd miss that plane...
we were still crying then...yeahs.

then go zihao hse play mahjong the whole day...i rushed home to wash shoes hahax.
play liao then go rent movie.

go there take 45 minutes pick our vcds...
bring to the counter,

"that'll be $23.5o"
"what?the sign say "$15.50"
"thats for selected vcds"
"crap"

and we went selecting for half an hour...again.
bring to the counter.

"you have membership?"
"WHAT?need member ah?"
"you need membership."
"eh membership how much ar"
"free,but you gotta be 16+"
"WHAT."

then we sit down and call lester rush down help us get.

lester come,damn black look on his face.looks like he had a bad day too~

"this 5 vcds ar...okayokay i help."

bring over to the counter ONCE AGAIN.

"ic please."
"HUH?"
"ic please."
"knn la i nv bring."and lesters face grew darker.

then we *KABISH*.

"GO MAKAN GO MAKAN!!!"

and we walked out of that stupid shop at loyangpoint.oya met clarence too~

---------------------------------

jj went to spar with andy...
i was watching from the 3rd floor.
too hurt to cry...
i didnt know what to do.
i already warned him in the morning.

"now pokais gone...you please PLEASE take care of yourself."

then after the sparring i smsed again-

"please be alright...dont hold it against them for doing this."

sighs.they might just go looking for him again...i cant say anything about it.dont know how to help him anymore.
ive been praying everyday...
---------------------------------

stuff reminded me of him.dunno why.
walking at the bus stop...
taking the bus...
slacking in the taxi especially.
and after that jj couldnt put in his earstick...i was helping him halfway when i just let go.

coz i remembered helping him all the time with his earsticks...yeahs.
bringing alcohol for him every 5mins...
coz of his ear infection.
then trying to put in the earstick...
me screaming and him smiling at me~
"hello.its my ear here hahas."
yeahs and id be like,
"i see your ear swollen...heartpain lahs.then help you put in earstick like vv pain liddats."
then he said
"its alright nth much...if it hurts i'll tell you okays?"
then i put it in so slowly..keep asking "pain anot.."
and he would reply with so much patience-"no...relax...continue.."

yarhs.

then i was at the minimart searching for chocolates to buy...no kitkat anymore~awws.then i reached automatically for the milkybars...
again-

"ehh you like milkybars?"
"hahas.im alright."
"wahh u nv tell me~~my house got a million packs...next time you come my house we go milkybar siao..=)

just chatted with wilson didi...


\\\x////Shino-wWwH\\\\x//// wah sien lo..........the nex year class..... says:
y don let others hav a chance?
\\\\x////Shino-wWwH\\\\x//// wah sien lo..........the nex year class..... says:
i mean y nt giv other ppl chance?
\\\\x////Shino-wWwH\\\\x//// wah sien lo..........the nex year class..... says:
to lyk u?
x. wenxin. ipromised- that iwouldnt lovehim anymore. says:
everybodys saying that...
x. wenxin. ipromised- that iwouldnt lovehim anymore. says:
but i know
x. wenxin. ipromised- that iwouldnt lovehim anymore. says:
i'll never be able to love someone as much as i loved andy anymore.
x. wenxin. ipromised- that iwouldnt lovehim anymore. says:
i cant trust myself to stead liaos
x. wenxin. ipromised- that iwouldnt lovehim anymore. says:
its almost as if im not good enough for them because my heart seems like its..."second-hand".its loved someone so much before....


as much as im trying,i still cant forget you.
ive made a promise to them id forget you.
but...
faking that smile in front of them is so hard.
they're beginning to get angry.
iLu-
korjiedimeix mummie daddyy im sorry for not forgetting.
but give me some time.
perhaps a lot of time.


let me drown in this unrequited love for now.

highlighted my hair...yepp.next stop-im gonna get that ipod=)

this is dedicated to pokai....whos leaving tmr:'(

heyhey...havent known you for THAT long...roughly half a year i suppose...
remember the first time i met you...at ws mac...you guys were going siao laughing at tuabapa0` and were asking me to join...yepps.
then i started hanging with you guys more...
hahas.we were at ngeeann bus stop there and i was about to get caught by the bus inspector...then you took out your buddha cover and put andy's ezlink inside..hahas.
then we were lying with jonathan and labi at 185...singing all the jay songs we could remember..you were wonderful at zhaoxia-ing...lols...
then we were tonning at the beach and all of us went over to the rocks and lay down watching the stars....and we were all telling the other to shutup lols.wanted peace...
yeahs.

and all those conversations we had on the phone every night...always lasted from 10pm-1am i suppose...yarhs.watching tv "together" on the phone lols.

and watching exorcism of emily rose together was fun=)

everybodys gonna remember your bravery that night.as you said,i owe you BIG BIG time.thank you so much for helping andy that night...everyone really was shocked,touched.at this guy here,you,letting yourself get beaten up instead of your brother,whom everyone didnt like,and who deserved that beating,and even you,hated that attitude of his,helping him so much.

just wish he'd know how to be grateful to you..

its surprising that all of us,having been playing together for less than half a year,would suddenly be leaving each other so soon...

im gonna cry tomorrow.

im sure the rest will too.

maybe even you.

we'll sing Shan hu haii & fa ru xue yarhs?at the airport...


im gonna miss you pokai.
alot.

-------------------------------------

you're always gonna be the wonderful brother i never had.

some scenes really keep replaying in my mind...

you wrote stuff on my calculator and i refused to clear it off~~
running everywhere in CityLink Mall..
climbing to the rooftop of OCH and just lying on each other's back watching the sky&sea.
and especially that day...

remember we saw cj at changi village?i really think i hurt you on that day...probably as much as you did.i dont know....

i regret dragging you close to me when i saw him i guess.seemed like i was using you..sighs.then on the bus when wilson was talking to us...yeah.still remember his words:

"...if you really love your stead you wouldnt chap 21tiong derhs.."

i think i was dreaming..but i turned and saw tears in your eyes?i got really sad when i saw that...or when i THINK i saw that...

i cant help it but i view your profile EVERY single day without fail...just gets me more heartbroken by the day....i mean,yarh im trying so hard to forget you...and in the mornings i always think,"todays the day im going to start a new life."

while in the nights i sit and cry thinking of you..

i mean,i cant believe you can just let it go like that..i cant believe i believed you when you said all those...you caused me never to believe anything like that again...i cant handle anything like this properly..i mean,gosh.i cant believe i gave my all.i cant believe i actually agreed to.....then nothing would have happened.is it really all my fault you smoked and did all those things you did?

i shoulda gotten out of your life that Christmas night.

im being forced to come back home hahas.coz chris tientien lester alvin they all at bedok doing stuff.then jj xavier and jonathan went hme...leaving me with labi..aiyas.go play bball..i fall asleep in the court.lols.labi said he told me when i was sleeping,"wheyy you better wake up hor i kick your face arhs" lols and i continued sleeping.wells.im REALLY wiped out.lets start from after my post ytd.hmm.

went to century meet labi xavier and sande...then i go arcade slack.aiyos.this is wad i hate-got this girl at the ddr machine.playing basic.ok tts fine.not say basic lousy or wad...
then she started turning here turning there...looking at ME.with that kinda "im DAMN pro" face.aiyos.i buay tahan nias.then pple c her liddat one big grp gather go watch her lorhs.sia la.i put money in le!!so many ppl i malu derhs.coz i cannot tahan her "BASICpro-ness".
then before me was another girl.aiyas she nvm.
then my turn.
didnt look at her.just gave a sian sian look.started out with orion78.trick.
she probably thought "lan la.trick ONLY."but owells.she plays BASIC.yeahs.then i continued with maniac versions of

heat of the night
kick the can
one two bitch
and finally,my song-in-training, have you ever been mellow.

yays.not bad.but the stupid sensors cant sense.owell.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

then go t-mart buy bbq stuff...bring a whole load of heavy stuff to sande's house...siaa.
then slack like SIAO there.marinate chicken oso lahs.hmm.

then go bbq pit.
so ulu place nia.
i booked wrong place le la.
who cares.hahas.
we switched pits!yay.

then it was like...eating...then some ghimmoh go kajiao bona..he buaysong nia.then lalalala wanted to diaozui and blahs.then they never come back so cant do anything.aiya.kc prepared summore.siaoo.then heard sth bout them being in AKsiao.owells.

then sande started getting scared...she was crying lorhs.dun dare go toilet..then the whole bunch of us-
yongchun jianhua wilson fucai labi pokai jonathan jj lester alvin marcus bona guojun go w her go toilet.wahh.siala.i thought bona scaring her...so i go tell bona off.then turns out bona can feel STUFF.craps.and he and yongchun can feel it arnd toilet there...WAHHHH.i was like,

"oh fcuk.i was in that toilet for like,15minutes washing my feet.ALONE.still go explore toilet summore."

eeeeps.then alvin go scare me,say sth behind me.then i scream and run to the rest playing cards and squatted there and cry.aiyos.few tears drop due to momentary shock.hahas.yarhs.then bona was feeling arnd...then he and yongchun pointed to the same place at the same time lorhs.i stunned nia.they....

then yongchun was trembling liaos.then bona keep trying to soothe us.see we suay or heng.i half half.then alotta stuff...i was damn scared liaos lor.
walked to downtown at 4 plus...had the whole grp follow me go toilet-THANKS!
yeahs.

then sande go back home with some of the guys following..while i went pokai hse there...
yepp.it started raining DAMN heavily at 6plus...SO COLD.
then was lying at the void deck sleeping a little.arnd 20mins.sianded.didnt sleep in peace.
then was really dying of boredom...
go lester house at 7+...i reach then dump myself on the sofa and peng ar.lols.then jonathan oso..wah.steal half of my sofa.lols.then the rest still playing cards.crazy pple.lols.
then we watched Scary Movie 2...whoas.nice.havent finished it though.coz lester had to leave for bedok.aiyaas.

and i ended up doing all the stuff i did all the way above(i wrote it lers)
and yeah.hahas.=)

---------------------------------------------------------------------

to YOU.
wheyys.i found out sth really bad.
its gonna be hell for you if it really comes true.
please take care...
its up to you whether to stay in 21tiong i suppose.but ashley..i dont know.
just rmb.
be wary of the 53 pple.

hie!i dropped by home to write this=)
for the people who care-

thanks alot=) im trying hard~

for the people who dont haha-

its alright=) my problems too many to care wahahas.=)

hmm.ytd go watch skyhigh with the 6A pple.WAH SUPER NICE! the best ive watched since initial d man.MUST watch!im promoting!!yay~~rawks~met mervyn~aiyo.cheer up sias.

then went to suntec...wah.everytime go there sure will get memories back~fun ones yarh vivien?=') sweet ones...
hmm.met sande pokai labi marcus rebecca bona xingyu jonathan.whaiyos.wahahas.go watch exorcism of emily rose!9.3o show!yay...wow.me and sande were the only ones screaming in the cinema lols.then beside me the ppl laugh.wahahas.sb sot nia.lols.
then go playground meet berdine hanwei ahdon bona rebecca...1plus..wah they tonning there nia.then i nv go pokai hse in the end!!AIYA regret!!!they play ps at his house=(( then i go sande house do nothing.waste 45minutes of talktime on conferencing with marcus and pokai.SIAN!sande reach home then slp liaos.diao ehs.then i sit down there until 4am do nothing still.lols.

owells.i go bathe now ...then go slp awhile=P coz tonights gonna be a LONG night=)
yay!ton ton ton!
bbq bbq bbq!
siao siao siao!
yay.lols.

And the best and the worst of this is
That neither is most to blame
If she's forgotten my kisses
And I've forgotten her name.

sighs-read her blog.vv...somewhat sad lars.vivien...me still cannot take the fact tt he got stead.aiyoyo.how nerhs.
shldnt have gone and see.sianded.
going ton 2nights straight later...i'll do me good i guess.away from thinking about him.
later meeting 6A pple watch skyhigh,then pokai they all go watch exorcism of emily rose.eeeew.sure scared derhs.3rd time i watching horror in cinema sias.this 13years of my fcuked up life.lols.*somewhat sadistic ehs.*
really love this blogskin and stuff.looks great lehs!hahas.really.love this one.
hmms.mood got quite affected by her blog.aiyas dun care lers.

two movies.
two grps of friends.
two cinemas.
two nights of tonning.
one night of bbq.
one night of arcade.

not enough to forget him.

The guy with that smile is what
ITruly miss
For he made streaks of crimson in the sky
An abyss of bliss

It aint easy watching you from afar with
Another girl
Really
But should I stay any longer,
I will only be
In your way
So I guess its really now
Farewell
to the happiness we once shared;
to our love;did it ever exist.

Regrets are unspoken lips
And impassive actions
That leads to bittersweet memories
Yes, hard, but worth reminiscing
It hurts like a knife gashing through
My flesh
But Im just thankful that our lives happened
To clash

For that everything I do
I hope you know
Its true
If behind that disarming smile of yours lies a waiting tear
You can be assured that
I will be there with you,
to fight your fears.
Ill be by your side, day and night
Ill make sure, that you are
All right

Even though when everyone is against you
Ill be there, when you call
Because you know that
I will catch you
Whenever you fall

There is nothing much for me
To express to you
But I just have to say before I go
That I still do
I still love you.

-----------------------------------------------------

thanks zhengyi!=)

yarhor.forgot to mention.his photos and msgs are deleted!sigh-i cried in the mrt.wth.coz the guys grab my phone and dun let me go take back.=(

today...go school hand in the book list thingy.then go whitesands.whaa.my own home oso gotta hide.sighs....coral CG down there...then i saw so many coral ppl...felt so scared id see ------------ then i really did lor.wah run all the way downstairs lor.then the commotion i created looked at lihan,who continued eating her chickenwings-_-"

sighs.i cant face that fact still.sianded.

pierced 3rd hole!ouch.think it hit the bone.more painful than last time...by alot.sian!
alamak.how to pierce on top liddat...sigh..toopidx me.

hmm.then go bugis with andra lihan erwin yay.ate alot of crap,then went crazy at century playing the Happy Lifter thingy.lols.kept screaming coz we were about to win the damn PSP and Zen Micro.spent a million bucks hahax.got addicted to it lorhs.

this post is for my terryDEAR-although i dont think this is really gonna be interesting.owells.

hmms.lifes been soso i guess.people are getting into the same situation as me.whoosh.bad.
im the one advising again...back to my old job=)
hope that every single one of them,after listening, will cheer up and be able to get on...even though its hard,they can do it:)

been going out to suntec...
today with pokai jonathan labi and eric.yesh.no money.double-u,tee,eff.
$1o got stolen by that stoopid jonathan,who happily went off to mcdonalds to eat up my money while pokai sat there talking to me-"aiyo you ar,worry so much.jonathan not the type derh lar.you'll get your money back-"

wow.and what happened to my $10.arghs.

fookeuu.lols.


then come back pasir ris go 185 slack as usual.only today we sang ALL jay's songs *wow** serious nia.from his first album the first song till the latest album the last song.lying down on the playground like we were dead singing nonstop.staring at the starless sky.not exactly romantic eh?but all the same,friends doing that together.im gonna miss it.there wont be a next time-sighs.
pokai!!! dont leave.....sobsob.WHYYY...dont leave us here...and i was just going siao saying, "hmm why dont we put a gigantic mirror that reflects taiwan and singapore.then we can lie down at 185 and watch the sky and see pokai's reflection in taiwan.." and i received an equally siao reply : "yah,and why not you go up and hang on the satellite." -_-lll
then i asked "do walkie talkies work overseas?"
and they're like, "might as well use telepathy la.5million miles."
dont know whats going to happen at the airport.

we're ALL gonna cry.sigh-



next thing-

andy....i cannot tell you whats going on now...and you wont read this entry either,which makes it worse.
i'll be leaving on the 20th i think.till when i dont know.
during this period when im not around...
andy.
take care of yourself.
if no reason to go out then dont go.
stay at home play lar.

this is all i can say...im sorry.i cant risk the both of us.you've gotta take care.REALLY.i dont want anything to happen to you..especially if its gonna be dangerous.they're getting pissed off at me shielding you lerhs.any more and im dead.please know your status now in our bunch..
when pokai's gone,
you've gotta change.
or its over.

and i dont want that.
coz i still care about you.

-------------------------------------------------

ahpeh..i'll be praying for you tonight=)
special case~hahax.

ytd stayed out the whole night...go ton.aiyos.went to mac at 4.30am and there were actually pple there.quite alot man.siaoo.studying?gosh.
then dropped dead at 5+...woke up at 9.30 coz bona scared me half to death,and went home.go tm with erwin,adriel,ernest,jiayi,edward,lihan and isabel.met andrea and lichang anyway.owells.watched transporter 2-nice.hahas.
jiayi bought a flower for me..awws.sweet.hmms..just what am i thinking.